Lotzie Weaver

A Brief History of Lotzie Weaver

Born into ‘The Land of the Mickey Mousers’ in the early 60’s to Hungarian/Irish parents; Lotzie was a product of the first ever collaboration between the CIA and the KGB’s attempts to create a pure mooncalf. They succeeded and to this day Lotzie is still a born idiot.

Lotzie & his siblings were later transfigurated into a council house in Ellesmere Port where his dad found work. Within a year however his dad passed away, leaving Lotzie to ponder the meaning of life.

Attempts to educate Lotzie in human society failed. He preferred to speak to the pigs on the local farm where he worked at weekends. Indeed it was those very pigs that taught him about life, the world & the human psyche.

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Leaving school as a fool, he spent his remaining teenage years breathing in paint fumes whilst re-spraying Vauxhall Chevettes. Then aged 21 he made the most bizarre move of his life – he joined the Army! He’s since done lots of jobs; working with humans, aliens, inter galactic dolphins, the CIA, MI5, the KGB & KFC.

In 1995 Lotzie was unemployed & stressed. So like other idiots he wrote songs. He’d perform these at local folk clubs & occasional gigs, including 2 gigs with ‘The Mushrooms’ of which he was half. At this time Lotzie recorded his first album 'It's All Me Arse". A collection of 17 terrible songs on cassette tape. Fortunately this album is no longer available.

At an infamous gig in Liverpool, backed by members of ‘Reckless Elbow’; a request for a song he’s since destroyed by fire went horribly wrong, when a wise lady complained. ’Ignore her’ cried his friends, but Lotzie knew she was right & felt he needed to reassess the direction his life & writing was taking. Born idiots often do this!

Having now seen the light Lotzie contacted the CIA, MI5, KGB and KFC informing them he was no longer prepared to do their dirty work or any more ironing for them.

Lotzie was subsequently arrested and detained under the prevention of honesty act. He was placed in solitary refinement and forced to live on a diet of sweet tea, momas homemade blueberry pie and broccoli & stilton soup. During this 13 year ‘missing’ period Lotzie let go of his writing and gigging.

In 2009 however, jobless, skint, with bills to pay and a family to support he decided to give it another go!

He recorded his album ‘Space Girl’ in 2008 as a charitable fundraiser. His album ‘Bankers Politicians and other subject matter’ was recorded in 2009; 'Caravan Dogs' being recorded in Spring 2011. Interestingly the titles 'Space Girl' and 'Caravan Dogs' have got nothing to do with any of Lotzie's songs. The cover dog on 'Caravan Dogs' is a yorkie called 'Missy'; she is a member of the Weaver clan as is the caravan she's sticking her head out of.

To-date (Dec 2011) there has been a Worldwide downloads total of 9 of Lotzie's albums - he hopes to break the dozen barrier by Dec 2020. Downloads of his tracks however are doing much better having just passed the four dozen mark. These amazing sales figure have earned him almost £61 in royalties. Due to these interesting sales figures Lotzie been forced to put his singer/songwriter career on hold and continue working as an undercover Handyman for MI5.